BAD dog, BAD!

I have not posted to my blog in over a week.... I think. I have lost track of all time because it's been corrupted by a BAD DOG. We have a 12 year old Brittany Spaniel that has been DUMB from day one. I know, I know... she can't help it because I was told that when she was born she was deprived of oxygen. Let it be her excuse, but excuse me for saying ... .she is still BAD. Here is her list of bad doings: She has pooped upstairs multiple times. My daughters have found her UP on the Kitchen table. One day she got up on the table, and ate an entire BRAND NEW pack of gum (that is after she dug through my purse to find it). Confession #1... I told her I hope that she choked and died. Constantly she is sneaking food off of my kids plates. The other day I came home only to find her frothing at the mouth (appeared to be anyway) but then I noticed that she was eating pancake mix, you know that dry kind in a bag. It was caked to her fur which looked like froth. Confession #2.... I hoped she would have died from overdose of pancake mix. And now I am brought to confession #3 I keep wondering if she will get to die soon??? I know that is awful... but I can't help myself. She is just such a BAD dog! EEEK!